Dear Lincoln...Linky Pants, Link, Linkers, Stinky Linky, Stinker, Squeaker, Buster, Buster Pants, Sunshine,
You are 3 months old today. And my heart feels like you are already one foot out the door for college. Like things are moving and changing way too fast for this mama to soak up.
Your dad and I love you so much. We did right from the beginning. But, these past few days it feels like we are actually loving YOU. Because each day...each hour lately, it feels like there is more of YOU that is starting to emerge.
A few months ago you were this tiny little bundle that slept next to our bed wearing adorable little hats with ears. (You really rock the headgear, Linkerton.) Quickly, you moved further away from the bed because of the squeaking and honking, but we still got up every few hours and gave you one of your ten meals for the day and changed your diaper. And kept track of it on our little log sheet. We didn't miss a poop or an ounce that first week. We were intent on making sure your systems were a go. It was us guiding you. Waking you.
But things are changing.
You took your first big boy nap yesterday. Not the segmented ones you were taking before, but a hardcore snoozer where you slept for 30 minutes, woke up and squeaked for 10 minutes and then slept again for 2 hours. I didn't have to rock you back to sleep or restuff the pacifier or carry you around in the Bjorn. You just slept. On your own. And woke up when you were ready to eat. And you let me know with your grunts.
I love the grunts. Way easier on the ears than crying, Buster.
You grunt in your sleep.
When you wake up and are ready to start the day.
When you are trying to poop
or reach the pull cord to make the frog sing
or doing tummy time.
And then grunt some more when you are fighting sleep.
And now you are laughing and gurgling and shrieking with excitement and smiling even bigger than before too. You've always been a smiler, sweet Linky. The nurses at the hospital swore that you were smiling at them right after you were born. You smiled at Roldy in your one month picture. And this month when we went to Flagstaff you smiled at the people waiting in line at the coffee shop. You sat in your car seat facing out at our table and as each person passed by they greeted you and you smiled and then they smiled bigger and the room got brighter. And my heart was bursting...but breaking a little too.
You see, my delicious little Link, I feel everyday as if my mom gig is becoming less and less about snuggling and teaching and kissing and more about getting out of your way. Letting you see. Letting you explore. Letting you smile at strangers. Letting you grunt with determination as you try and lift your head and chest off the floor. I know there is still plenty of snuggle time and kisses and years of mom decisions and fails and choices that I will force upon you. But, I want you to know that I am listening. To every grunt. And as much as I can, I'm going to get out of your way and let you discover and change the world in your way. Because I see YOU doing it already.
YOU. This new little YOU emerging. That we love exactly as YOU are. And always will.
So happy 3 months, my Linky Pants. And happy day to me because at 3 months, I still get to squeeze you and kiss your cheeks and make you wear a party hat and pants with an animal face on the butt and I plan on taking full advantage of all those things today.
I love you always. YOU. Always.
Love,
Mom
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